Thursday, September 27, 2012

A Long Sisters' Original

Scene: 9:59pm Thursday evening. Top bedroom, corner house. Samantha at her painting. I engrossed in my work. The only sounds come from the scraping of her palate knife and my munching on noodles.

"Ohp, time for bed!" announces Samantha. Without warning, the room is plunged into darkness.

"Ah!" I exclaimed, totally unprepared for the obscurity in which I suddenly found myself. "I can't see my noodles!"

"You don't need to see your food," she insisted, in a voice not unlike Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "Blind people don't starve!"

Sunday, September 16, 2012

My Creativity has Returned!

Just a few tidbits from the first few weeks of classes, but that’s still something. Finally the muse and desire have merged and the following is the product.

Gnats. Why did we decide to create these again? Their only apparent purposes, at least discernable to me, are to serve as sustenance for larger, borderline repulsive organisms, and to irritate the rest of us higher beings. Maybe they are just another tangible trial of patience. Anyhow, I had forgotten about these flying gems until I walked through a random cloud of them. That’s another thing: why do they always congregate in nonsensical locations? It’s like they are intentionally preying upon us, the poor unsuspecting populous. As I was walking through afore mentioned cloud, I uttered some unladylike sound akin to a raspberry at precisely the same moment that another fellow, traveling in the opposite direction, emitted the exact same sound. Those volant villains had claimed two victims in one fell swoop! After recovering from the revulsion, I realized the humor of the occurrence and proceeded to chuckle about it for a good 20 minutes.

This one looks strangely like my father...
My next source of inspiration came from an unlikely and unlucky sidewalk smattering. I was walking to class and I noticed what looked like the remnants of a lunch murder - tomatoes, cucumbers, shredded lettuce and crushed olives strewn across the walkway, no doubt by some unfortunate event of Subway spillage. My initial reaction was to shake my head in dismay at the current state of humanity. Why would someone sully our campus thus and then continue on their way, expecting someone else to fulfill their cleansing duty? As I continued to contemplate the image of that crushed olive, however, I was overcome with an overwhelming craving for a hoagie. I started mentally constructing it and I could practically taste it - the bun crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, salami, pepperjack cheese, ripe tomatoes sliced thin, cucumbers, peppers, olives, salt and pepper - my mouth watered for hours. So we did it.

Accompanied by salty potato chips, of course.

We are super excited!
Of course we needed to have some high-quality entertainment while we feasted, so naturally The Cosby Show fit the bill. It was quite appropriate timing, as the night before we had watched this episode:

I know you are all inspired now, so happy hoagie-ing!